Sport Reports

Senators vs Hull Volant (Away)

Oct 27, 2012 - The Senators crossed the Ottawa River onto "The Dark Side" in high spirits last Sunday morning (21st October), after a close defeat in Syracuse the weekend before. After clearing Quebec customs, the intrepid veterans arrived at the Hull Volant ground - which turned out to be an artificial surface (AstroTurf) suitable only for those distinctly dodgy variations of rugby where they wear padded long trousers, long-sleeved shirts, gloves, rubber studs and mototcycle helmets...to make matters worse, there wasn't a player on the opposition over the age of 18! (well, maybe one or two...).
Undaunted by these staggering odds, the Old Boys filed out onto the rock-hard pitch, with bare arms and legs smeared with Vaseline in order to reduce carpet burns! (luckily, Mark Patterson had brought his usual Saturday evening's supply of petroleum jelly with him, so there was plenty to go round, after you had picked out the pubic hair...).
The match kicked off, refereed by one of the Senators players (Bill H) - no one is sure why. Hull had a lot of speed out wide and ran in a try in the first couple of minutes. In another wide Hull attack a few minutes later, Nathan Harris brought down the opposition wing but unfortunately smashed his knee against the diamond-like surface - a suspected shattered patella saw Harris rushed off to Hospital by a Florence Nightingale-like Angela - further investigation revealed he had simply twisted a sock...
Unfortunately, the match report writer [Harris] was no longer present at the game, so the remaining part of this report is based on second-hand information and/or pure hearsay...
Reports of the final score vary widely, from 10-1 to the Senators to 11-0 to Hull. The average score reported seems to be around 5-2 to Hull, so we'll go with that...
At one point Bill H allegedly red-carded one of the Hull players for having 17 players on the field - didn't anyone tell him he should have sent 2 players off...? (17-2=15, duh!). Anyway, sounds like an interesting game...
That's all folks - see you next time!


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